Infinity and Eternity
by Delle Tuh
Summary: I could feel my heartbeat taking me down. And for the moment, I would sleep all right. I'm burning with a selfish fear to keep me up another restless night, another restless night. A Bella and Jacob peice written for Justin on Valentines Day.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note:** Happy Valentine's Day everyone! This one, even though it isn't great or perfect, is for Justin. The love of my life. But then again, we aren't great and perfect all the time either. Which is depicted in this short story. You might ask why I didn't choose Edward and Bella. I didn't because my life isn't full of magic, and Edward Cullen technically, should never be alive. Justin is my Jacob, because he is real and he is here and we were meant to be. Like Bella and Jacob. I love you, Cakie, for holding me together and for keeping me above the sea of pain that threatens to take me down. I will forever be greatful for all you have given me. And I will forever show you how much I love you because of it, Happy Valentine's Day - Always and Forever; Infinity and Eternity. Join the review revolution and review. -Delta

**Infinity and Eternity**

I stand at the door and stare.

Indecision is a battle between wanting to leave and wanting to stay within my still warm bed.

Charlie is gone, left to work some time ago.

Being alone is always hard, there's nothing to keep the thoughts and feelings at bay. Nothing to focus what little energy I have left on.

I think about doing the dishes, which I did last night to pass the time. I think about laundry, which is an endless pile in the room beside my own. I can always strip the beds again and wash the pillows.

I sigh.

Normally chores and cleaning is enough. Normally I'm up and out this door before I have enough time to even look at my bed before making it. But today, I don't want that.

I don't want that at all.

But I do open the door and I run down the stairs and out of the house, locking it up behind me before heading to my truck.

I drive, much too fast, toward La Push with only one direction in mind.

Jacob.

He's the anesthesia I need for this all to go away for a while.

At least, that's what I hope.

I pull into the drive and of course, here he comes. He's as constant as the hours on the clock, you know they'll always get here. It just might take a while.

I jump from out the truck and into his arms. I feel him holding me together, holding me tightly against his chest. Which I knew was as intact as mine was broken.

"Bella?" his voice is familiar, worry laced between the letters of my name, "Are you okay?"

Then it starts, the pain. It's a slow burn, something I'm used to…at least, alone.

I try to pull away. I try to pull myself together again, as though I've fallen to pieces on the ground we stand on. But he holds on, keeps me tight against him.

Panic sets in, makes my breathing erratic and sharp. I push against his chest but I was never known for my strength, as we all well know. And it makes me angry on top of it all.

I could feel the breakdown, tried to stop it before it took me down below.

But Jacob helps me up above the pain in which I knew I would drown. He keeps me safe in his arms and it's not the arms I had once wanted but I want them too, all the same.

And then, instead of pushing him away, I'm pulling him closer.

Then, I'm not close enough.

Tears stream down my cheeks and then Jacob's neck; sobs wrack my body but he still holds me together, holds me against him.

I think it's all I truly needed.

All I truly wanted.

Jacob.

Finally, I look up at him, through tear drenched lashes, and smile.

It's small, but it's a start.

He kisses my forehead, soft and slow, and sets me down before taking me into the garage.

And as I watch him, all smiles and laughter, working on his car, the realization of what just really happened hits me.

It may not be this way for him, which is fine, but it's something too amazing not to share.

"I love you, Jacob."

He stops what he's doing, drops his wrench, and looks over at me through his wonderfully long hair.

"I love you too, Bella," he says, a seriousness coating his tone, "Always and forever."

"Infinity and eternity," I whisper softly to the ground.

We smile sadly and I run my hand through his hair, wishing I had never met the man who had made me this way, so I could be perfect for Jacob.

And wishing that Jacob would never find out just how broken I really am.

--


End file.
